Fall from Grace in Addiction
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I'm not for sure, but I think Stephanie had around 1 year of "clean" time when she relapsed again. I could see it coming. She moved out into her own apartment, started hanging around new friends (that I was never introduced to), stopped going to meetings, and lied to me about being in recovery. I told her I could see what was happening and that she was only fooling herself (this is something my husband and daughters' also told me in my recovery). She began isolating from her family again, myself included. I tried getting her to take a vacation with me, but she backed out at the last possible minute. Her airfare and everything was payed for.... All she had to do was come with me. I'm just guessing, but I'm pretty sure she didn't want to go because she couldn't be without her drug of choice for that long. So, I went on that trip by myself (visiting my mom in Florida). A couple months later, Christmas was coming up. Stephanie came over for a visit. I was making meatballs, for our upcoming family Christmas. I had taken off my jewelry to make the meatballs. We were chatting about upcoming Christmas, when I had to use the bathroom. I wasn't gone that long and Stephanie took off. I found a valuable item missing and realized what happened.... RELAPSE. My heart HURT. It wasn't that she had taken from me, it was what she had taken from me and how much of a betrayal I felt. In the days following, she denied vehemently taking anything from me. I told her when she was back into recovery and she was working her 4th Step (Making Amends), to call me; until then, I didn't want to see or speak to her. Harsh, right?
Everyone's rock bottom is different. Unfortunately, this wasn't Stephanie's rock bottom, YET. While we are in active addiction, it seems our rock bottom can extend deeper than the depths of hell.